Voices

           He had led a charmed life. Immensely successful in his career, and lucky in love too as he reminded himself, married to his childhood sweetheart and blessed with the most adorable child ever. A perfect family, some said. Yet for some time the sun had not been shining quite so brightly. Making his way through each day was becoming more of an effort, the smiles forced, the pauses in conversation awkward. She had noticed it too, the puzzlement slowly turning into hurt. Lately a few bitter words had been exchanged, as the boy looked on in bewilderment. His thoughts veered in another direction, as he remembered the chance encounter a few months back. On a business trip, as he waited in the near deserted airport lounge for a late night flight, he had looked up and into the most compelling pair of eyes ever. A quick introduction and some moments spent in conversation had been followed by an exchange of phone numbers. They had met again soon after and had continued to do so. Each meeting had been exquisite torture, a grappling with unfamiliar sensations, fighting against a primeval urge. The attraction between them was undeniable. Had he never known before? Or had he simply suppressed his true self? He believed he loved his wife and his family was his world. The pangs of guilt were overwhelming. Yet as the phone rang and the familiar number flashed on the screen, he could not get himself to disconnect his call. His voice was the only lifeline in a world where the dynamics were slowly changing.                                                                                                                                                                      
                                        
         She had thought she was one of the lucky ones, who led a happily ever after life. Married to the one she loved, a beautiful boy, a wonderful job. She had often touched wood, a childhood superstition, as she thought of her blessings. But recently the tendrils of worry had begun to weave themselves around her. It was not anything she could put her finger on, just a vague feeling that all was not right. A silence had crept over them, a drawing apart where there had been closeness. Some misunderstandings, some ugly scenes had happened. She could not forget that day in the coffee shop when she had spotted him talking to a man and was about to call out. But something had held her back, the intensity between them precluding anyone else. She had turned back and left. Yet the most horrible suspicions had been plaguing her since then. And the phone calls which he left the room to attend. He,who had never had any secrets from her. In her sanguine moments she thought that there would be a simple explanation and she would be able to laugh away her apprehensions. Yet what if it were true?The very foundation of her life seemed to be wavering.

          He counted the days till his sixth birthday again, the third time today. He remembered his last birthday party, presents, cake, friends, balloons and above all, his parents laughing and singing aloud. They hardly seemed to laugh anymore, an eerie silence between them enveloping the house in gloom. And sometimes they fought, the angry words reaching his room where he sat with fingers clapped across his ears. He missed their Sunday outings, the visits to the zoo, the long drives and the gifts his parents sometimes surprised him with. Now they snapped at each other for the smallest reasons and at him too. He pulled the covers over his head to shut out all thoughts. Yet a lone tear crept down his cheek. Would there even be a party for him?
          
                                 

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         She still remembers the day they first met. A sultry October afternoon, curtains drawn against the blazing sun, the streets empty of people but for the occasional hawker and a few stray dogs. The morning chores over, a languor spread over her as she relaxed over the customary afternoon cup of tea. He seemed vaguely familiar from the first moment, the chiseled features, the piercing eyes, the faintly amused expression. A common background of growing up in adjacent small towns, a shared love for books and music, a way with words, soon the initial ice was broken and conversation flowed effortlessly. 'Serendipity', he said as they parted the first time, 'to have found you so'. 'A word smith', she breathed, as she reveled in a world of new pleasures. The day passed in a haze, as did the weeks thereafter. The only memories of long interchanges of thoughts, of getting to know each other's secrets, joys and sorrows, likes and dislikes. He loved long hair, thunderstorms, the smell of wet earth, she loved to hear him talk. He made her laugh as no one could, their private jokes making her smile at odd moments of the day. A stab of jealousy as he talked of old loves, a keen delight as he wooed her relentlessly. She drowned in his eyes, he played with her long hair, they held hands as they walked through the old forts and palaces of Rajasthan. Their eyes locked into each other's on moonlit beaches, they came closer on winding paths of secluded hill stations. He was her world, his words a bridge across the chasm between them. And the stray doubts that darkened her mind, the inconsistencies he refused to talk about, easily swept under the carpet. Till the terrible day he failed to come. A million explanations she offered to herself, none of which provided any comfort. The tears flowed unhindered, the next day and the next. The world ceased to matter as she went through the motions of life. Reliving each moment, going over the minute details in the vain hope of making sense. Darkness descended over the world, igniting a streak of insanity in her. A million messages sent, angry, entreating, each more desperate than the other, to no avail. The days turned to months, the tears stopped but the world lost all light. Years have passed, but her eyes still seek him, she longs to hear his voice. Though she knows he is lost to her forever, she spends hours thinking of what may have happened. Did he never feel what she felt? Was she one of many for him? Or was he no longer of this world? Questions, each more haunting than the other, with no answers. Blissful ignorance, she tells herself is better than damning knowledge. Still she waits, yearning for the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

The Accidental Facebooker

          A couple of years back I was cruising along the highways of busy domesticity, a soul content in my cosy cocoon of gardening, cooking, reading, and socializing in the real world. The online community and it's denizens were an alien species I knew little about and cared even less for, so much so that I did not have an email address of my own!  However a sudden urge to contact an acquaintance I had lost touch with necessitated a Google search, only to be informed that so and so was on Facebook.Thus began my initiation into the world of social networking as I signed up for Facebook within a matter of days. Since then there has been no looking back.
            However the early months were a lonely existence when I would log in and regard myself in solitary splendour on my page. Desperate searches ensued but none of my real life friends seemed to be on Facebook. I was growing resigned to a friendless existence when  one fine day a miracle occured and I received an actual friend request! Oh, what bliss! It did not matter that I did not know the person concerned from Adam. Of course I accepted but the bubble burst soon after. My first online friend turned out to be somewhat shady and I learned the first of my lessons, do not trust strangers just because they seem friendly.
                Soon however I struck paydirt as I found one of my school friends who had retained her maiden name. One followed another and before long I was connected to the old school network, most of whom seemed to have moved to the States.  Many exclamations followed, how this one had changed and the other had doubled in size. Facebook was happy meeting ground and many a pleasant moment was spent reminiscing and oohing and aahing over spouses and children and wonderful careers achieved. Old school photographs were uploaded and nostalgia reigned supreme. One fine day, a long forgotten friend from college sent me a message and as we connected, voila, more friends seemed to crawl out of the woodworks. Gradually, I reconnected with cousins settled abroad and made the acquaintance of the newer generation I had never met before and  bonded over books, music and similar likes and dislikes.
                 As I waxed eloquent about the wonders of Facebook, some friends were enticed to sign up and the ranks of my online friends swelled. Virtual flowers, confectionaries and even medication was exchanged on Facebook. Thinking of creative and original status updates and receiving the most number of comments and Likes became one of the joys of my life. I made friends with fellow Scrabble players from all over the world on Facebook and have been fortunate enough to convert some virtual friendships into real life ones. Birthdays, anniversaries and festive occasions became even more so as they were shared by friends real and virtual,old and new. People I had not been close to in real life became soul mates on Facebook and I felt bereft if I can not communicate with my online buddies. I was totally hooked on to Facebook and experienced my first withdrawal symptoms when I lost my net connection for a while. I would rush to switch on my computer the moment I woke up, even before the first cuppa and the more the notifications, pokes and messages, the better my day began. My plants were looking forlorn, books were piling up unread and it seemed takeaway menus were proliferating dramatically. Friends not connected online complained that I did not answer phone calls or reply to messages. But I was so busy milking cows and building barns on Farmville and becoming a hardy pioneer in Frontierville that real life had taken a backseat. It has taken quite a few nudges from an increasingly neglected husband and offspring, parents and friends to regulate the time I spend Facebooking. Indeed, on quite a few occasions I have de-activated my account, only to get back to it the very next day! And while I may no longer hit the PC the first thing in the morning, it is my Blackberry I reach out for with just one eye just opened.
                    It is incredible how a social networking site that was meant for students in Harvard has  become a household phenomenon. Facebook now has an astounding five hundred million members, including me! As one of my friend's status update said, I was ordinary, till Facebook happened. Now I am awesome, beautiful, wow, outstanding and on one occasion even a flower in a forest! But seriously, Facebook gives me new reasons to smile everyday and even shed a few tears like I did today, talking to a childhood friend after twenty years. It has been instrumental in making me pick up my pen  and take some baby steps towards my long forgotten ambition of writing. For me, Facebook is a love story that shows no sign of waning. But in a broader perspective, Facebook is an effective social media that has the power to revolutionize lives, empower businesses, mobilize opinion, organize blood donation drives and fundraising, raise environmental issues, and make political statements. Is it a wonder then that The Accidental Millionaire, Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook  has been named the Person of the Year by Time magazine!